Blogging Around

While looking at blogs, I was excited to read the Dialectics prompt, probably because I had so much fun with it. I read a few different responses, but the one that sparked the most interest in me was Laila's. She compared restriction and freedom, and it immediately reminded me of religion. Many people have different views on religion, and one of these contradicting beliefs is whether it restricts or frees you.

Laila,
Your paragraph describing restriction reminded me a lot of the idea of fate and that God or some other all-powerful being as a path laid out for you. You still have "choices" within that path, but in the end you will end up in the same place. Many religions believe that, and to me that is the easy way out. It allows people to sit back and anything happen because they believe that no matter what they do, they'll end up in the same place anyways. It completely aggravates me. But, as you further pointed out, what if we were living in a world where our choices were made for us but we were under the illusion that we were in control? Then I agree with you, that it is not restriction because we are not seeing ourselves as being restricted. If in this life we are set on a path by some divine being and don't have control over our future but all the while believe that we do, I don't believe that we are truly being restricted. But once you sit back and let everything fly pass you because you believe you'll end up in the same place, then you become restricted.

After looking at a few more blogs and prompts, I found that the Dialectics prompt was the one that sparked my interest the most. Eliana's entry was interesting, in which she compared the ideas of bliss and darkness.

Eliana,
After reading your blog, I realized that it hit an idea that I was struggling with in my head but wasn't able to fully comprehend it. And now, after reading Laila's response as well, I feel as if I am slightly repeating what has been said by both of you. But oh, well. After watching the Matrix, I found myself trying to figure out which world I'd rather be in: simulated or real? The immediate answer should be real for most people, because that seems to be the correct world to desire. That's what all of the good people in the movie go for. But Neo seems extremely miserable once he's pulled out of the Matrix. To be fair, we don't know if he was always so sad, but to me it seemed like he wasn't having a great time. Personally, I would be with Eliana, Laila, and Cypher. I honestly believe that I would be happier living in my blissful fantasy world. If I was pulled into the real world, I wouldn't be able to handle it. So I somewhat agree with Eliana's claim that the real world is blissful, but the people living in it don't seem too happy. To me, the happier people are the ones who stay in the Matrix.

Dialectics: The Matrix Is and Isn't Possible

Before we began watching the Matrix, I was nervous. I have the tendency to get ideas that scare me (such as the possibility of the Matrix) stuck in my head and it's hard to get rid of them. I was afraid that I would become convinced that I was stuck in the Matrix. But, I sucked it up. And I'm glad I did because The Matrix is an amazing movie.

The idea that provoked me the most, and I'm sure many others, is the idea of whether or not the Matrix itself is even possible. On the surface, it's easy to say yes. We could be in the Matrix right now and have no idea. It's also easy to say no, because that is completely ridiculous and highly improbable. But, by being the devil's advocate, we can come back and say just because it's improbable doesn't mean it's impossible.

I began believing that yes, the Matrix is indeed possible. It could have just been the paranoia in me leading to this conclusion, but I did take this idea into consideration. We could never know, unless approached by Morpheus, whether or not we were in the Matrix. Isn't that the whole idea? To believe so thoroughly in it that it becomes your reality? That idea is what freaks me out. What if everything I believe to be real right now really isn't?

But that brings me to the side of the Matrix being impossible. It's difficult to comprehend the idea that everything you have learned and experienced is just a figment of your imagination. Or, rather, being fed into your imagination through a machine. We all put so much trust into our memories and experiences, fully believing in everything, that it would be almost impossible for us to turn around and realize that no, it wasn't real. 

But let's say for a second that the Matrix is real (as in we are inside the Matrix right now). Does that mean that all of our experiences and memories aren't real? What makes a memory real? A memory or experience is created by the brain, and even though our memories would've been given to us, wouldn't they still be stored away in the same way and place that every other real memory would be put? If the Matrix were to be real, and we were all inside of it, I do not believe that it would undermine every experience we have lived through. Just because we haven't seen it or touched it with our actual body, our mind is still given the electric impulses it would've been given if it had seen or touched this thing. So doesn't that make it as real as anything else?

In the end, I do not believe that we are in the Matrix. It's extremely difficult to believe, so much so that I find it so improbable that it's most likely not true (see I'm not saying impossible). But, if we just so happened to be in the Matrix right now, I do not think that my life, or anyone else's, would be considered a lie. Sure, we didn't experience anything with our full consciousness, but our brain treated everything as if we did. And that is what controls our memories, thoughts, experiences, everything; the brain. So if the brain believes it, so do we.  

Metacognition: Jane Eyre Mash-Up

When we were first assigned this project, I was a little confused. I found it hard to understand how we could incorporate different materials and sources while still keeping "one voice." After talking it through with Laila and Kira, my group mates, I began to understand and got excited. We chose the theme of independence to stay away from the major theme of love that runs throughout Jane Eyre but still keep an important idea. We then split up to find our evidence and quotes that we would then group together to make into one flowing idea.

For me, finding the quotes within Jane Eyre was the most restricting. I knew that the idea of independence was everywhere, but it was hard to find fifteen different passage that expressed it. Some passages worked within the story, but if they were pulled out of context they wouldn't make sense. Eventually, though, we found each of our passages. I felt the same way about finding quotes from other sources within the curriculum. I felt very limited, and it took some time to find passages that would work. We did find these as well, but it wasn't as easy as I would have expected.

I enjoyed finding outside elements much more because I felt more free. After thinking about this, I realized that when it comes to bringing different elements into one idea, I enjoy freedom. Usually I'm okay with restrictions, because it helps me know what the teacher wants, but for this kind of project I liked having a wide range of elements to choose from. I believe it allowed me to be more creative with this project and share my knowledge from many different places, not just what we studied in English. It was easier coming up with connections from outside the English curriculum because they were the ideas that came quick and naturally to me, the ideas that popped up into my head when someone said "independence," instead of being forced or looked for. I do believe that it's good for me to find connections in everything, but I had more difficulty with this project when I was told where to look for these connections.

I like the fact that I was comfortable with the free aspect of this assignment. Usually the open-ended part of assignments makes me nervous, so it was a nice change to feel confident in my ideas. I wish I had an easier time understanding this assignment originally, though, because if it had been individual I would've had difficulty. In the end I really liked this assignment. It definitely brought together many different elements and ideas that I never thought could've been brought together.

Metacognition: Short Story Writing

Writing my short story was a fun yet frustrating process. It gave me the opportunity to be free and creative with my writing, but it involved changing my story many times to make it just right. In the end, I know that the changes were for the better.

I began with an idea which, I admit, was pretty unrealistic. But I liked it, so I went with it. After receiving feedback from Mr. Allen, I realized that my plot was so unrealistic to the point where the reader would have a hard time enjoying the story because it would sound ridiculous. I then reread my story, or the story fragment I had written at the time, and kept the parts that I believed were good enough to be rewritten.

I then took those parts, my main character's poor relationship with his wife being my main "pressure," and twisted them around so the story would be slightly different and more believable, but I didn't have to change it completely. I was much happier with this story and thought I would definitely be successful. I was wrong. In this story, the main character's wife died. In my feedback, Mr. Allen commented that her death sounded forced and I should somehow tweak it. I was frustrated with this, that was the biggest push on my main character and I was proud of it, but I knew that he was probably right. I just believed I had a good idea going for me.

I talked to my mom about my story and tossed some ideas around with her. I realized that I had had the idea of the wife dying stuck in my head and it was hard to imagine anything else happening, so it was good to have a fresh mind help me with new ideas and scenarios. We had the idea of the wife going into a coma instead. That way, my story would be more dramatic and pressure would still be put on my main character, but the wife didn't die, so it wouldn't be as much of a stretch.

From doing this project, I learned that if I get an idea in my head for writing, it gets stuck there. I have difficulty seeing my story go any other way, so if I need to change my story, I have to get inspiration from somewhere else. That doesn't mean I take the idea from someone or something, but I may get a flash of inspiration from an outside source. I wish I wasn't like that, though. It makes writing much more difficult because I get stuck in one section of my imagination, as opposed to imagining all different things and choosing my best idea. I like the fact that after taking a break, looking at something else, and coming back, I usually have a more open mind. And although that's an extra step I'd like to take, it's worth it in the long run.

Change of Mind: Details Matter

Recent activities and discussions in class have shown me how much thought actually goes into creative writing, whether a short story or a movie. I never thought that it was easy or came right to you, but the discussions in class and the process of writing a short story have shown me that there's a lot more to it then coming up with a good plot line; the little details in the writing matter a lot.

Reading "Stone Boy" and discussing it afterwards helped me pick out the details in writing. I remember when I first read "Stone Boy" at home before any discussion, I really liked it but only saw the main plot or the top layer. The next day, we discussed it in class and it opened my eyes to how much more detail and ideas you can get from the story if you look deeper into the writing. I never would've noticed how uncomfortable the main character was having control over his older brother or exactly how much pressure was being put upon him if we didn't talk about it. I am currently reading The Constant Princess by myself for some extra reading, and these discussions have helped me pick up so much more from the book.

The process of story writing has also helped me appreciate the technique of word usage and little details much more. Mr. Allen said that verbs can be powerful if you use the right one, and I've found that this is definitely true. One word can say so much, and if you can pick up on that while reading a story, it will tell you so much more about what is going on that any amount of dialogue can.

We watched a clip of the movie "Apocalypse Now" in class, and the discussion of the film technique introduced me to how much you can learn from the small details that most people wouldn't pay attention to. We touched on the noises in the background and the gun underneath the main characters pillow; things that I normally wouldn't think much of. The discussion showed me how much these little things mean and how much you can learn about the character just from the placement of his gun. A couple weeks ago I was watching "Cool Hand Luke" with my dad and I remember saying, "My English teacher is getting into my head!" I noticed the acts of repetition or the hidden messages in the movie that I wouldn't have noticed before and it drove me crazy! I admit, at first I wanted to write off what we learned in class and assume I would never use it in my everyday life, but I did, and I loved it. It made the film mean so much more by finding these little details. I had to admit to myself that details do matter, whether writing or reading a story, and they'll bring so much more to the story than you would've thought.

Best of Today: Europe is in Darkness

Today in class, we had a discussion on Heart of Darkness. There were many good points, but the idea that got my attention the most was one from Anna B. She pointed out that although Africa, and specifically the Congo, and always referred to as the "darkness," when Marlow returns to Europe he believes the people living there to be the ones in the dark. It's the complete opposite of how you'd think it would be.

Africa has always been looked at as being behind other civilizations and therefore unenlightened whereas Europe has always been a leading power and described specifically as enlightened. That's why this idea is so intriguing. When Marlow first returns to Europe, he says, "I had no particular desire to enlighten them, but I had some difficulty in restraining myself from laughing in their faces so full of stupid importance" (Page 71). Because Marlow has been to the end of the world and back, he realizes how in the dark the average person is. They are filled with "stupid importance" and believe that only their own lives and little worlds matter. They're the ones who need their eyes to be opened, no the natives in the Congo.

This also made me think a lot about the present day. Many people are still like this; they get sucked into their own little worlds and ignore everything that doesn't have anything to do with them. I admit, I do this on occasion as well. It's hard to focus and learn about something that you feel as no relevance to you. It's important to do this, though. I believe it helps you become a more rounded person because you are knowledgeable about many things all over the world. If a war is going on, you should know more than just who it's between. Although it may seem like it's not effecting you, it indirectly is. It's effecting trade patterns, economies, people's lives, and many more. That's the same as what was happening in Heart of Darkness. No one knew what was going on in the Congo, and no one cared. They didn't understand that everything has some relevance to you, whether it's direct or indirect.

By acknowledging this, I am now able to open my mind to other situations going on in other parts of the world. I tried to do this before, but Anna's comment opened my eyes to how in the dark many people are. If you don't understand that the whole world is connect, then you are truly in the dark.

Blogging Around

One blog post I responded to was Stephanie's "Get Organized." I chose this entry because I thought it was extremely interesting that she went to New York to perform and because she had good organization methods.

I'm so impressed that you went to New York for a concert! You may have mentioned this before, but I seem to have forgotten. Very cool. Anyways, I think it's so smart that you get everything all set up beforehand. I have the tendency to put things off until last minute and find myself scrambling around trying to find everything I need. I really need to start preparing sooner because, like you, I'm generally a nervous person and if I'm running around until the last minute, I generally feel like I'm missing something. Most nights I try to pack my backpack for school the next day, but if I forgot, the next day I'm constantly freaking out that I forgot something. I think preparing ahead of time is a good habit to have.

The other blog post I responded to was Nish's "The Poetic Walls." I chose this because I saw that he struggled in the same way I did when it came to writing poetry and I enjoyed reading how he responded to these struggles.

I had the exact same problem. At first, my poem was, as you said, just the skeleton of one, and I had a hard time finding the words to make it a real poem. I knew what I wanted to say but I had difficulty expressing it in a poetic way. It wasn't until Mr. Allen pointed out that I need to focus on the scene and the moment I'm in more. I pictured the woods I was in more thoroughly and started to write something that sounded more poetic. But I also hit that second brick wall. I put everything in that I could and Mr. Allen still asked for more. I, unfortunately, couldn't take a walk in the woods to help my thought process but instead walked away from the poem, did something else, and came back with a fresh mind.

Metacognition: Poetry

I will be the first to admit that I am not the biggest fan of writing poetry. I love reading it, for the most part, but I find the writing process to be long and difficult when you are trying to stay away from the clichés. What helped me somewhat stay away from that was when we were assigned to think of random moments in our lives that meant something to us, but we don't exactly know why. 

This part came generally easy to me. The first things that came to my head were pretty random, but a few of the moments were obvious and, well, cliché; Christmas eve, Thanksgiving dinners, my sisters leaving for college, all of the moments that you would expect to stick in someone's mind. I finally settled on when my ex-boyfriend and I walked through the woods together. Nothing exciting happened (so no one get any ideas), but it was special and I felt as though writing a poem about it would allow me to dive deeper into why this stuck.

When I wrote my first draft, my ex-boyfriend and I were more recently broken up than we are now, so I had many more emotions that came easily to me as I wrote the poem. Looking back, though, I realize that I left most of those out of the poem. My poem was pure detail and story, it had no feeling showing through it even though there was a lot behind it. 

In the second draft, I allowed more emotions to show but still subconsciously held back. I kept getting feedback to dive deeper into what happened between the two people in the poem, but I was afraid to for reasons that will remain unsaid. When we got our poems back again and were told to rewrite them a third and final time, I'll admit I got angry. I was told again to go deeper into their problem and this time I was consciously holding back. This anger let my emotions finally break through and go onto my paper. He wanted to go deeper into the problem? Fine. Here it is. And let me say, it was amazing. I hated doing it so much. I hated having to connect with what was bothering me and find a way to make it sound "pretty." But it worked. It got the feelings out of me. The situation still upsets me, but it's nice to know that I finally got it off my chest and into writing. 

I didn't care for this writing process at all, but looking back, I know that it was good for me and I thoroughly appreciate it now. 

Get Orgainzed

To "get organized," I am cleaning my room. My clothes need to be hung up in my closet, books need to be put away, and some stuff needs to be thrown out. I am doing this by myself.

I haven't started cleaning yet, and I keep finding excuses not to do it. I get distracted by Facebook, music, or my phone. It's just a daunting task that I'd rather not be doing, so I find myself doing other things. I know that once I finally clean it, though, I'll feel much better.

I'm about halfway through cleaning my room and I cannot focus for the life of me. I keep finding different reasons to stop; I think of a random question for my mom, my cat walks in the room and I have to pet her, I want to skip the song that comes on, etc. I am just so bored.

I finally finished cleaning my room and I feel extremely accomplished. Even though it took much longer than it should've, I still got it clean and it looks amazing. I feel much less overwhelmed now.

Before I cleaned my room, my mind was very scattered. When I would look for something, I had to look at the floor because I would just leave random things there. Now I know where to look and my mind feels much more at ease.

After this project and analyzing my thought process, I found that I avoid doing something that I don't want to do as much as I can. I kept making excuses to put it off, even during the cleaning process. I realized that I do this with homework as well. If there's something I don't want to do, I put it off until the last minute, and that is a very bad habit to have. I'm now trying to change my mindset and realize that the sooner I do something that I don't want to do, the sooner it's over with and I can move on to more enjoyable things.

Metacognition: Early Modern Project

I believe that I'm generally a good thinker. I take the time to think about each decision I make instead of just quickly choosing the first one that pops into my head, which I believe is a good quality to have. I sometimes go overboard with this, though, and tend to over-analyze things, which isn't a good thing. I then over think each of my options and it turns into a mess. I also get overwhelmed easily so I become very stressed out. I'm somewhat of a spaz, so this definitely adds to the stressed out or frantic feeling I get. I'd like to learn how to stay level-headed and calm while making a decision, I think that would help me keep from becoming stressed.

I do like the fact that I take the time to think about each option I have when I don't over do it. I know a lot of people that make rash decisions and it usually doesn't turn out well. I believe that I usually make good decisions, mainly because I take the time to think.

Something I don't like about my thinking is that I have a hard time trusting others when working in a group. For example, during our social studies Early Modern Era project, I got extremely stressed out because I didn't believe that the others would finish their work on time. We did get it done, but I need to learn to trust my group members. They want a good grade too, so why would they hurt their own grade just because it's group work? I can tell myself to be confident in them, I just have to start doing that.

What surprises me about my thinking is how I can pick out different themes or techniques in poetry. I've never been a huge fan of poetry; I never really took the time to analyze the art of it. But once we were pointed out different techniques the poets use throughout their poems, I was amazed on how easily I could pick up on it. It's like a whole new world was opened to me. Once we were shown techniques that Shakespeare used, I could easily find those throughout King Lear as well. I also have begun noticing these techniques in other things such as shows or movies. I was watching Blazing Saddles the other day and I saw an example of the back-and-forth dialogue that Shakespeare used in his writing. I can easily pick up on different writing techniques, a talent I wasn't aware of until this year.

Overall, I think that I have a good thought process. Although sometimes I think too much, I believe that I do a good job of judging my options and making decisions. I also need to learn to trust my group members, but that's just a small adjustment that I can work on. Other than that, I believe that I can think logically, which is a good quality to have.

Blogging Around

Aaron Ach wrote a post on his blog called Inconvenient Truth: Hardwiring of Our Brains. He made the claim that although we don't want to admit it, everything is predetermined. Our life's path is set out when we are born, and although we may stray from it, we end up going the way we're supposed to go to the destination that was decided for us. In response, I wrote:

I only somewhat agree with this post. I do believe that some aspects of our lives are created by fate or nature or whatever you want to call it, but not all. There are many things we have control over. I believe that this "road" we're put on brings us to intersections, but allows us the choice of which direction we want to go and continues from there. There's no one path we are meant to take, but there are decisions we are meant to make. Our destination isn't determined until we get there.

Kira Bolos wrote a post called 360 Degrees: Gay Marriage. Although she believed that gay marriage should be legal, she tried looking at other point of views. In the end, she still believed that gay marriage should be legalized. In response to her post, I wrote:

Personally, I share Kira's point of view on this topic. I don't understand what makes a straight man or woman different from a gay man or woman other than their sexual preferences. They're still a human being, they still have feelings, and I'm sure many of them dream of having a wedding. But they can't. Because our society won't accept them. I like to ask, "If two gay men were to be married, how would that effect you in any way?" There's really no way that the person against gay marriage would be badly effected by their marriage. Maybe they'd be offended, but most people are offended almost every day; you see a picture or hear something that's offensive, but that doesn't mean you outlaw it. I believe gay marriage should be legal.

360 Degrees: Moral Questions

360 Degrees: Moral Questions

Whenever my family takes long road trips together, my dad loves bringing up moral questions for a discussion. My favorite, or at least the one that got me thinking the most, was "If your family is dying from starvation, is it morally right for you to steal an ear of corn from a corn field (you can't ask the farmer for one reason or another) to feed them?"

My automatic response was yes, of course. My family comes first to me and if they're dying, of course I'm going to steal one ear of corn from thousands so they can live. But then I have to think, "Is it morally right?" My emotions tell me it's okay, but in the end that's not always what's right. I still believe that doing something to save a life, if it's not taking someone else's, is morally acceptable. If I'm not killing this farmer or his children to save my family, then yes it is okay.

But then I begin thinking, this man spends everyday sowing and watering and growing these ears of corn, is it right for me to take one away from him? He spends a lot of money on those seeds just to grow and sell them. It's what he does for a living; do I have any right to take one away?

And then there's another point. It's just one. He has rows upon rows upon rows of corn, he's not going to miss one measly ear. This ear can save my families life, not just be an extra side dish for a meal. Isn't that a good enough reason to take just one?

So is it right for me to steal an ear of corn to feed my starving family? This farmer puts his life's work and dedication to his field of corn, why should it be morally right for me to steal something from him? Stealing is wrong, no matter what it is. Right?

Maybe not. Maybe saving a life is more important than the act of stealing. The life overrules the stealing. So isn't saving a life more important than all of these things? Yes, this farmer spends a lot of time on his corn, but if I take 1/1000 of it away so my family can live another day, that to me is morally right. My family's, or anyone else's life is more important than this man's minor loss of income.

An Inconvenient Truth: Selfish Acts

A concept that a certain student in Academy, I won't mention who, likes to bring up is the theory that everything anyone does is selfish, no matter what it is. This theory makes me so angry. He gave the example that someone joining the military is committing a selfish act and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. How is joining the military selfish? He claims that they only join the military for fame and glory and when I made the point that they want to protect our country, he countered saying that they only want to protect our country so that their family can be safe. Following that, he made the claim that they only want their family to be safe because they want their genes to be successful and be able to extend their lineage. This completely threw me off. How could someone caring for their children be selfish? We care for our parents just as much; how is that selfish?

In some situations, I can see how this theory could possibly be true. For example, if you let someone cheat off you on a test, you could claim that that is selfless because you don't gain anything from letting them cheat off of you. But that would be incorrect. That person, in my opinion, likes you even just a little more because you gave them the answers. Subconsciously, you do this because they are your friend and you don't want them to be mad at you or because you want that person to like you. Another example would be buying something for a random person. People like to do these kinds of things and consider them selfless but again, that'd be wrong. When a person pays for someone else's meal or helps them pay for something they feel good about themselves. That's what they gain from that. They feel like a good person, and that makes them happy.

While writing this blog, I find myself realizing how true the idea that every action is selfish can be. I'm actually kind of mad; I don't want that to be true. I think that one of the reasons I struggle with this concept, especially when its involved with the military, is because a few of my friends want to join the military. I think that it's extremely brave of them to do but it scares me. Because it's so admirable for someone to join the military, I can't stand thinking that it'd be just for themselves. If I look at it from the student's point of view, though, I can see it. My friends that want to join the military all feel like they don't have a purpose in life or lack structure, and looking at their situation with this theory in mind, they may just be joining the army to feel like they're doing something. And that would benefit them, causing their action to be selfish.

I now understand the idea that you discover new things while you're writing. I had the mindset of arguing my point that not everything is selfish, but I've been completely flipped around. Even though I don't want to admit it, maybe that theory is correct. It's just a difficult one for me to accept.

Best of Week: Trust Issues

Only attending one English class this week due to being sick, I had a limited amount of discussion topics. Luckily for me, though, Avi touched on something I found extremely interesting when we split up into small groups to work on the discussion questions.

The last question asked, "What else did you notice in the chapter that you'd like to share and discuss?" Avi then pointed out the first paragraph of Chapter 3, where the biographer explains that much of the documents describing Orlando's life during this time period had been left with large scorch marks or holes through them. She ends the paragraph with the sentence, "We have done our best to piece out the meagre summary from the charred fragments that remain; but often it is necessary to speculate, to surmise, and even to make use of the imagination." This leaves with the question, "Which parts of this chapter are actually true?"

Chapter 3 is filled with mystical and interesting "facts" about Orlando's life and transformation into a woman, but because of the biographer's opening paragraph, I began to wonder which of it was true to Orlando's life and which of it was fabricated. This started me thinking about real situations. Often you'll hear second-hand stories on something that happened; whether on the news or from a friend. The stories are always interesting, but after this chapter and Avi's comment, I realized that you never really know what is completely true. Almost every story, unless a first-hand account, is piecing together different bits of information to complete itself. You can never be sure that something is completely accurate. The story teller isn't trying to lie, but it's difficult to keep all of your facts straight when the story has been passed down through many different people. Even someone who experienced the situation first hand might have a piece of the story off just because they can't remember perfectly.

I'm really happy Avi pointed out the first paragraph to this chapter and made me think about it more. At first I thought that the biographer was just trying to juice up the story, but I realize there's a different, deeper meaning. Not only has this comment brought me to connect to real life, it also has made me analyze her writing more. Not much is put into this book just for fun; a lot has a deeper meaning than just at first glance.

Carry It Forward: Orlando

In class we had a discussion on Orlando as a writer and what he had discovered through his writing and experiences. One conclusion he came to was that he needs to write for himself and to make himself happy, not anyone else. Building on that throughout the discussion, we also touched on the idea that you need to live life and do things to make yourself happy, not anyone else. Your life is your life, and if you're not happy with yourself, it's hard for other people to be.

Being a teenager and in high school, you're surrounded by people that criticize your every move. You constantly think if you're wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, or even talking too much. Most people, if not everyone, strive to be liked and included. Some people even take that to the extreme and change themselves completely just to be a part of the "cool" crowd. I find myself second-guessing my actions as well. I tell myself, "It's fine. You don't need to be liked by everyone if you like yourself," but that's hard. It's hard to completely love yourself if other people don't like you. If I tell my parents that someone doesn't like me, they often say, "Well, that's their problem." I've found myself saying that as well, but I don't always believe it.

This discussion touched on a subject that I am frequently in conflict with. I like who I am as a person and I'm happy with myself, but if I don't always get invited to all the parties or talked to by the "cool" kids, I ask myself if I did something wrong, even if I know I didn't. Being happy with yourself and doing things that make you happy are key concepts in life, ideas that everyone should acknowledge and follow, and something that I'm working on.